Rachel Kiser
Blogger | Mom of Two
Before I had children of my own, I imagined bedtime was a soothing time of reading Goodnight Moon in a rocking chair, singing a few songs, a kiss on the forehead, warm smiles exchanged, and doors closed. While some nights actually are that way (and boy do I cherish those times!), I was mostly wrong. The truth? Although a day spent at home caring for kids may at times feel like a marathon, the end, bedtime, is like running suicides. Save up your energy, brothers and sisters. You’re going to need it.
It’s my thought that kids try to pack as many conversations, requests, grievances, and protests into as little time as they can during that magical half-hour we call lights out. It’s actually pretty incredible. While we, as adults, have learned the art of the wind-down shortly before it’s time to sleep (normally consisting of reading a book or watching tv, putting comfy clothes on, and just plain shutting our eyes!), it’s almost like the word bedtime invokes some Pavlovian response in small children; one that whispers, “game on.”
My daughter is never thirstier, never fuller of tummy aches, colder, hotter, hungrier, or chattier, than when she’s in her bed at night. Her needs are ever-changing to keep us on our toes.
The indent marks in the carpet, left behind by her put-away playhouse? They must be swept clean.
There’s a wrinkle in my sheet! Make the bed again, please!
I only fed Ashley the fish four pellets, she needs five!
Where’s _____ (insert favorite stuffed animal, blanket, toy)? There it is, literally right next to you.
At the end of it all, and sometimes even on those days I’ve been watching the clock until it strikes 7:00 pm, waiting for the sweet reprieve of bedtime to descend upon our house, I often find myself in the strangest of places.
I miss my kids.
The same kids I spent the last two hours chasing around, asking twenty times to eat their carrots. Disagreeing on which pajamas were acceptable. Holding their jaws open to brush their teeth. The ones who pick the longest book on their shelf, who fight like mad the second I mention the word “bedtime”. Those kids.
I think about their round little faces, their nonsensical jokes, their goofy grins. How my son lays his head on my chest and hums along with me while I sing him to sleep in the dark of his room. How my daughter will often take my face in her hands and kiss me so fiercely right before she goes to bed. How, although it’s exhausting much of the time, some of the sweetest moments of getting to know my children have taken place with them lying in their beds and me crouched on the carpet next to them. How being their mother fills my cup, even when I’m fully convinced that it’s draining slowly, all day long. When I expect to find it bone dry, I often find it teeming.
And while my night is eagerly and readily filled with time with my spouse, catching up on tv shows, working, folding laundry, or the litany of other things I want and need to do, I know that, in the morning, I’ll be ready to greet those little ones for another day that is both exhausting and fulfilling.
There is no shame in counting down the minutes to bedtime some days. There’s also no shame in scrolling through your iPhone looking at pictures and videos of your children from that very same day you were eager to see come to a close, or sneaking into their rooms to kiss their foreheads. To be a parent is to live within constant tension, right? So embrace it. Run that marathon with endurance. Sink into the couch, and prepare to do it all again tomorrow.
About Rachel Kiser
Rachel is a wife and mother living in Raleigh, North Carolina. She’s a fan of good coffee, wearer of gray t-shirts, and is constantly starting books she will never finish. Her family is her joy, and she loves to engage with other moms and dads on matters of parenting. Her blog posts have also been featured on the Today Show Parenting Blog and Scary Mommy.
View all posts by Rachel Kiser here.
20 Comments on “The Arduous Task of Putting Kids to Bed”
That is so funny and so true! I must admit, my husband and I do look forward to the couple of hours we are able to spend alone, unwinding at the end of the day but, yeah, my kids certainly don’t, lol!
Isn’t that the truth, Julie?? HA! Maybe it’s better that our kids think we’re going to sleep, too… they seem to hate the idea of us hanging out without them!
I have a son who moves every part of his body before he can sleep. It can take an hour sometimes. If I interrupt him he will start all over.
Wow, I bet there was some trial and error in his bedtime routine before you figured out how to let him soothe himself to sleep, Annette!
Sounds exactly like our household. My 3 year old is never tired but yet whines to get into his pj’s and that last potty time and into bed to only 25 minutes later crash out. And now my 18 month old is slowly getting into that as well…into pj’s fresh diaper change & wonders all over our bed until it’s time to snuggle with mommy. That’s the only way it calms her to sleep. Even though mommy has a million things to do before bed it’s a mandatory snuggle time so that she goes to sleep & into her bed ( occasional times in to tired to put her in her bed & ends up sleeping with us) but it’s those sing me a song mommy blowing kisses across the room & catching them & snuggling is what I love the most! Im tired & exhausted and need to finish up things…but they are only little for this very short time & I will never get it back. They drive me crazy but it’s these moment’s that win my heart all over again.
You are so right, Deja! Soon they won’t want us for their comfort before bed. Important to remember on those frustrating nights. Great perspective!
So very true. first we had a snack, then a drink, then a story, then some rubbing of her arms /legs. then I tucked her in. but not even ten minutes later she was back out asking for something else. LOL takes forever to get time for me around here!
Hopefully it makes that time all the sweeter, right Amy? :)
This is so funny and so true! I have been there!
Stacie, a common link between parents– I know so many of us have to fall onto the couch with a piece of chocolate after a long bedtime!
So true , my daughter used to come out 20 times, I’m hot , thirsty, etc etc.. the routine now is get ready at 615 bedtime at 7 sometimes 630… they pick one movie , lay in bed watch it and by the end they are unwound and tired. which takes them until about 830 .. in which we get a sip of water turn the tv off and sleep .. it works
It sounds like you’ve come up with a great method that works for you and your kids, Bonnie! That’s what we do best! Whatever it takes to get everyone some sleep is excellent!
With 4 kids this is so helpful! Thanks for sharing
Thanks for commenting, Beverly!
So very true! (Although my daughter’s ‘witching hours’ are from about 5-7, homework time and dinner time… I think she actually likes bedtime)
Oh, the dreaded witching hour. Why is it always around dinnertime? Great thing to celebrate, though, a kid who likes bedtime :) Thanks for commenting, Jessica!
“some of the sweetest moments of getting to know my children have taken place with them lying in their beds and me crouched on the carpet next to them.”
So Sweet…keep on keeping on! :)
Thanks Michelle! Amazing how opportunities that sometimes tire us out can be the best learning and growing experiences, right?
Moms wear many different “hats”, as our children grow up.
How true that is, Melissa!