Yafa Crane Luria
Teacher | Author | Positive Discipline Trainer
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Here is important information on a new(ish) aspect of ADD/ADHD called Rejection Sensitive Disorder (or RSD).
I’m going to talk about how it feels and how to parent someone experiencing an RSD episode. After that, I will cite articles explaining the biology of it.
Characteristics
- RSD is characterized by an overwhelming feeling of rejection from a friend, family member, or other acquaintance. Your child may feel criticized when no one is criticizing. Your child may feel like a failure or a loser. He or she may feel like life isn’t worth it.
- It happens to adults too.
- This is a real and serious phenomenon. It’s not that a person is being a drama queen.
- When a person has an RSD episode, the feelings and beliefs feel completely real and true, even though it’s not. It feels HORRIBLE: painful, hopeless, and lonely.
- Your child may get super irritable, critical, or angry. They may scream at you.
- Your child may cry uncontrollably, not be able to focus, want to hide at home, in their room, or by sleeping through it.
- Your child may turn to something distracting or addictive to numb the extreme feelings. Then may turn to gaming, junk food, drugs, smoking or vaping, drinking, or sex.
Helpful things
- Here are some helpful things parents can offer their kids:
- massage
- snuggling
- bath with epsom salts and essential oils
- listen to them with compassion
- take a walk
- play with a pet
- eat something healthy and soothing, (for me that’s soup, tea, or poke!) Sometimes eating something crunchy helps. The crunch can help diffuse emotions that are stuck.
- Read the articles below
- Talk to a doctor.
Unhelpful things
- Things not to do:
- Don’t tell your child to buck up, snap out of it, or get over it. This isn’t a scrape or scratch.
- Don’t tell your child it’s just their imagination
- Don’t call them names (Crybaby, Drama Mama) or tease them
- Don’t let anyone else call them names or tease them
- Don’t ignore it and don’t ignore your kids – some kids can become suicidal
- Don’t just wait for it to pass! This is serious and horrible for your child to go through, especially if there’s something that can be done.
- Don’t spend a month reading about it, when you could be getting help. Your child NEEDS HELP
RESOURCES
- https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/
- https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/adhd-emotions-how-they-affect-your-life/
- https://www.additudemag.com/symptoms-of-add-hyperarousal-rejection-sensitivity/
xo, Yafa
Copyright 2020 Yafa Crane Luria All Rights Reserved
About Yafa Crane Luria
Yafa Crane Luria specializes in helping families who are new to ADD/ADHD, who are facing a new stage in ADHD parenting, or who have tried nearly everything and are still frustrated and confused by their child’s or teen’s Blocked but Brilliant brain. A true ADHD trailblazer and fierce advocate, Yafa is a 35-year veteran teacher and school counselor, a certified Positive Discipline trainer, and an award-winning author. In 2018, after decades of working with ADHD kiddos and families, Yafa designed an ADHD- and neuro-divergent brain-specific behavior program that is customizable to individual families in every way. It addresses the unique challenges of parenting a child/teen with a “Big Heart and a Noisy Brain™.”
Fun fact: Yafa’s nickname growing up was “Mountain Goat” because she climbed EVERYTHING. You can listen to Yafa’s personal ADHD story and get more information on her website: BlockedtoBrilliant.com
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