Roger Mackenzie
Journalist
The notion of getting back into the dating scene is often unnerving to some single mothers that desire to find love again. Having been through a failed relationship and with the frustration that came with it many experience uncertainty when it comes to starting a new relationship all over again. Getting on with your love life as a single mother requires a different approach as opposed to when you were not a parent.
Various crucial aspects call for your close attention that we will discuss below if you want to get anywhere with your new catch.
Prioritize your life and don’t rule out flexibility
For you to move on with your love life then you need to face the fact that this is going to be a new chapter in your life and embrace it. The fact that you are now a parent does not rule out the possibility of finding a long-term love partner. You are justified to have the affection of someone else aside from your kids thus nothing should hold you back as you are free. This requires you to balance your affection between the children and your partner and be flexible to the expected changes in your lifestyle.
You must first appreciate yourself for who you are before venturing to find love elsewhere. Your outlook towards life is determined by the fact that you are a parent who has suffered a previous relationship and is faced with nurturing. With this in mind, you will realize the values that you hold close and base the new relationship on them. The decision on future love relationships may also be based on how you were brought up, your spirituality, and your life experiences.
Plan a date to let the kids get to know your new friend
It is however prudent to realize that the priority in whatever you are getting into is your life and that of your children. You deserve to be happy and to be loved but this should not interfere with your children’s welfare. Although the affair will be between two adults, your children are going to be part of your new relationship too. It is wise to tell your partner that you have kids as soon as possible and also be honest with your kids if the question arises.
The person you are going to date must value this fact and be able to accommodate your children in his heart. When the time is right and depending on their age, you are obligated to let your children know that you are seeing someone special. The way you introduce your partner to the kids has an impact on how they will perceive him from the initial impression. This requires you to plan for the occasion and be sure that this is the person you have settled for before divulging the breaking news.
Let your partner help you and give you emotional support
The person that you settle on is supposed to recognize that you have a past that he should be comfortable with. The point at which you allow him to be a part of your life is supposed to provide you with the much-needed love and support. You may have undergone a divorce or a failed relationship thus he is supposed to uplift you emotionally and in any other way possible. The person you are with now must realize that you are dealing with emotional wounds that require time to get over with and should be patient and help you work things out. The man you choose as your soul mate should bring out the best in you.
Don’t hide your sexuality and natural attractiveness
Becoming a mother does not deprive you of your luster, elegance, or sexuality at any point. Thus said you are supposed to set yourself free and face the new dating scene with confidence. Strive to empower yourself as this will bring happiness and alleviate all forms of judgment from people. Get rid of the guilty conscience and carry on with the responsibilities of a single mother with a positive outlook without letting your past weigh you down.
This kind of approach to your new life settings will naturally attract the attention of potential suitors. You may need to sign up for dating sites or join singles groups to improve the chances of finding a compatible partner. Decide to move on and carry yourself with grace and happiness will find you.
Dating and the associated possibility of rejection can harm even the strongest person and make her doubt herself. So before you post your profile on a dating site, like cupid.com, and start looking for your partner, make sure you are healed enough from your previous breakup.
About Roger Mackenzie
My name is Roger, I am a journalist with two years of experience. For my own development and professional growth, I also write informational articles on all sorts of topics, which mainly relate to lifestyle, relationships, family, and the like. I am persistent and purposeful, so I calmly take criticism and am always ready to make an effort to ensure that my work is appreciated.
To see more, view all posts by Roger Mackenzie here.
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6 Comments on “How to Find Love Again If You Are a Single Mother”
In my experience, it all goes back to being open and positive,and really letting your personality shine.And always be proud of yourself being a single mom (parent)! If you believe it is a blessing to have a children already,and not a burden. the potential partners will feel that too!:) I had a plenty of dates,im 35, now and a mom of two, and for me seems there are many man interested and they are not bothered by the children,at least not as much as i would be afraid they could. I still havent found what i am looking for, but their openness,also the percentage of the single dads (that have been through the same experience) are inspiring (not per se,like it would be great to have so many broken families, but in a sense..things happens, life moves further..and that we all are worthy of having a second,and maybe even third etc chance…..)….and it is also the best gift we can give to our kids – to build a new,beautiful relationship,and to keep trying even if the first time went wrong… 😊 Cheers and good luck! I believe we can do it!! 🙃
Its a very difficult thing to find a second life. Not every one is blessed to have a new life. Its takes lot of courage to take a step and the other one who wants to get into a commitment needs even more courage to step ahead and present a new life. No need of being a super hero, if one has a good heart and feels responsibility ,ready to give all that is destroyed in her life and support her to live again will be valued by all the people. Look into inner beauty and not for outer appearance, Wish to write many and add so much in detail….
I’m glad to see a positive message for single mothers in finding a partner again. I just wish there could be way more concrete examples of single mothers finding great partners who actually stick around. Makes me worry about the isolation I’ll be up against after I get divorced.
Another thing I did not mention was, it does seem like the fellow does not like to feel like he is in “second place” for time and affection as my client puts her daughter first. I don’t believe he is “anti-child” but I can see this as a dynamic, that many times prospective partners won’t want to play second fiddle to the child.
I am counseling a single mother who is encountering obstacles because she is a single parent. One fellow she was dating, her family was opposed to the fact she had a child and even made him choose them or her! (He chose his family). Then another longer term relationship she is in, is on the verge of potential break-up because the guy seems to be unable or unwilling to step into a fatherly role for her daughter and seems to only want to be friends with her. Which is a shame because the daughter had bonded with not only him but his parents as well.
This is very helpful advice. I’m a single mom and dating is almost impossible. It’s a scary world and you dont want to bring someone into your children’s lives who doesn’t belong. Plus you have to find the time and the energy and kids are awesome but that sucks those things out of you like a leech. Lol