Draven Jackson
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The month of February is a prime time for couples, filled with romantic dates, sweet gifts, and small boxes of heart-shaped chocolate sold in every store. However, if you’re not in a relationship, February can be a very aggressive reminder that you are currently going it alone (at least when it comes to love). Honestly though, being single gets a bad rap because many people ignore the positives of spending time on your own.
We’re told from an early age that we need to be in a relationship to be happy – every movie we see seems to have a couple that falls in love and gets together all in the span of two hours. But that’s just not the love life that everyone experiences, and you shouldn’t let yourself be disappointed if your relationships look a little different than the ones on TV. Here are some key reasons why being single isn’t such a bad thing.
Being single teaches you about what’s important in a relationship
One of the positive points about being single is that you’re able to learn what is important to you when you are sharing life with someone else. When you are in a relationship, it’s easy to overlook red flags or even just small qualities and habits that you don’t like. You are able to forgive the ways that your partner might not be the right person for you by writing off these little things as small irritations.
For many people, being in a relationship and falling in love with someone is a step towards the path of marriage and creating a life together. Shouldn’t finding someone who fulfills all your needs and wants be a priority? You don’t have to settle for less than everything you wish for in a partner just because you’re afraid of being alone – being single gives you time to decide what you need from a future partner and what you aren’t willing to sacrifice in terms of your relationship and life.
It gives you time to nurture and grow other relationships
Being single isn’t a curse – it’s an opportunity. Romantic love isn’t the only love out there, and it’s not the only thing that will make you feel fulfilled and satisfied. The love you experience with your friends and family can be just as comforting. When you aren’t taking time to grow a romantic relationship, you can pay more attention to your platonic and familial relationships and make them stronger.
So many times in my life I have had the epiphany that I enjoyed the time I spent with my friends more than I liked going on dates or trying to find a new partner. My friends have been there for me through my darkest and brightest days, and their love has brought me just as much joy and happiness as my previous romantic partners did. It’s okay to want to concentrate on relationships outside of romantic ones and to give them the attention and care they need to grow stronger.
Reminds you to love yourself first and another person next
When you experience being single, you start to realize how important it is to love yourself first. You are the only person you can rely on 100% of the time. That’s not to say that your spouses, friends, and family don’t want to be there for you or aren’t reliable – it’s simply that everyone has their own life and problems to deal with, and sometimes those can make it hard for them to be there for you all of the time.
This is okay, however, because you always have the ability to take care of yourself. You are a strong person full of independence and capable of achieving anything, and recognizing your own importance and value as an individual will only make your future romantic relationships sturdier.
A relationship is two people coming together to love and take care of one another, but it’s important that each person loves and values themselves as much as they care about their partner. This helps ensure that not only are you aware of your own needs as a person and a partner, but you will be more prepared to communicate those needs to your loved one.
It’s better to be single and lonely than unhappy and in a relationship
At the end of the day, being single isn’t such a bad thing because (in my opinion), it’s better to be single and a little bit lonely than to be in an unhappy relationship. I have spent so much of my life watching the people I love be stuck in relationships built on convenience or fear. They spent their days with partners who made them unhappy or didn’t treat them the way they deserved simply because it was either a) too much of a hassle to leave the relationship or b) they were terrified of being alone.
But what’s wrong with being alone? Being lonely can feel sad sometimes, sure, but there are a lot of good things that come out of being on your own. You get better at taking care of your emotional and physical needs when you’re the only one around to do it, and you are more aware of your boundaries and what you want in a relationship.
When you’re single, your time and money are yours alone – not to mention, you never have to worry about arguments or upsetting someone over something silly. Of course, there are so many amazing reasons to be in a romantic relationship, but it’s important that you are in a relationship for the right reasons and not just because you’re scared of being on your own.
You will find a relationship when you’re ready
There’s a quote I think about a lot from “Little Women” where Jo says she would accept Laurie’s proposal (which she had previously turned down) if he were to ask her again. When asked if she loves him, she says “I care more to be loved. I want to be loved.” Forcing yourself to find a relationship simply because you want to be loved will only end in heartache when you realize you can’t reciprocate those feelings.
In reality, it’s better to be in a relationship because you are in love, not simply because you want to be loved. Being single means you’ll feel lonely sometimes, and maybe it’ll even seem like you’re missing something, but it’s also an amazing opportunity to see where life takes you and become someone who doesn’t need romantic love to be happy. Then, when it’s time, maybe the right person and the right love will come along.
But at the end of the day, you will still know that you are completely fine either way.
What do you think is another positive aspect of being single? Tell us in the comments!
About Draven Jackson
Draven is an avid writer and reader who enjoys sharing her opinions on movies, books, and music with the rest of the world. She will soon be working as a teacher in Japan and hopes to use her experience to connect with other teachers and students around the globe. Draven spends most of her time at home with her family, her dogs, and her ferret.
To see more, view all posts by Draven Jackson here.
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10 Comments on “Being Single Isn’t A Bad Thing”
Being single can be lonely for sure, but your reasons show that it can also be a positive thing. There’s so much pressure to find someone and settle down but being single does have its advantages as well, like more freedom and independence.
Good advice
great info!
Each individual needs to know what works for them, I am not single but I would be terrified this day and age to try to date.
I love this: “Being single isn’t a curse – it’s an opportunity.”
I agree with so much in this article. However, it is hard to comfort someone who longs for a relationship by telling them all of the above–that sounds so positive and optimistic.
I’m not single but when I was it wasn’t a bad thing. You need to be happy with yourself, where you are at life before you can bring someone into that circle.
Being single and independent makes you stronger. It doesn’t mean you have to feel lonely or unhappy.
I definitely agree it’s better being single than being un happy in a relationship.
Especially when the relationship makes you feel miserable on a daily basis.
I think whatever works for the individual is best — don’t do something because you’re worried about what others think. Life is too short.
I like being single, but I’m so tired of dead end relationships that cause trauma